Ephesians 6:1-9: Relationships Between Children And Parents; Slaves And Masters

In the first part of this letter, Rabbi Paul dealt with theological and spiritual issues. In this part of Paul’s letter to Messiah’s Community at Ephesus, the Lord’s divinely inspired representative teaches us about some practical issues, specifically, how to deal with our most important relationships.

First is our relationship to those in the Community of Salvation. It’s to be characterized by an attitude of submission. The sons and daughters of God are to cultivate an attitude of not seeking to control but to submit. Submit to one another out of reverence for Messiah. Not striving for dominance, but yielding control to one another is to characterize relationships in Messiah’s Community.

The next relationship is that of husband and wife. Love and submission are to characterize the relationship between husband and wife. The wife is to yield control to her husband and respect him as the God-ordained head of the family. The husband is to love his wife, with a beneficial and sacrificial kind of Gave-Himself-Up-For-Her love which was exemplified by Messiah loving us.

Next, we come to the parent-child relationship, and the last is the master-slave relationship. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the Earth.”

Children are to obey their parents because it is right. It’s right because God, who design the family, made it right. He created humanity. He created the family. He ordered the way it is to be managed. He put fathers and mothers in their position of authority over their children. Because God has put parents in their position of authority over their children, out of respect for God, parents are to be obeyed.

It’s right for children to obey their parents because the parent-child relationship is very special. Parents are the ones whom God uses to bring children into existence. Being part of producing a new life made in the image of God is a profound thing, and because parents participate in the creation of their children, they have the right to tell their children what to do.

It’s right for children to obey their parents because, as a general rule, parents love their children and have their best interests constantly in their minds and hearts, and do what is best for them. If parents are doing what is good for their children – and they generally are – then it’s foolish and destructive for their children to disobey them.

It’s right for children to obey their parents because children are young and foolish and inexperienced. They come into this world morally, spiritually and educationally ignorant. Parents are generally 20 to 30 years older and have a lot more life-experience. They’ve made a lot of their own mistakes and have seen other family members and friends make mistakes, and they have learned from those mistakes and are wiser because of it. Children need to be taught. They need boundaries. They will make mistakes and will need correction. It’s God’s design that the guidance and boundaries and rules and advice come from parents who are older and wiser.

It’s right for children to obey their parents because mothers and fathers do so much for their children. They care for them, protect them, feed them, clothe them, house them, teach them, correct them. When people do so much good for you, it’s right to honor them.

It’s right for children to obey their parents because of the Golden Rule – not “do unto others as they would have them do unto you,” but “he who has the gold, makes the rules.” Parents have the gold, and that gives them the right to make the rules for their children. Young man, young woman, when you are 18 or older and living on your own, and not supported by mom and day, then mom and dad no longer have the right to tell you what to do. But until that time, it’s right to obey your parents who support you.

It’s right for children to obey their parents because the way children treat their parents will influence the way they treat their other relationships – their future spouse, their children, their co-workers and friends and other members of their society. If a child has a good relationship with his parents, and honors his mother and father, that will spill over into his other relationships and affect them in a positive way.

Parents, your relationship to your children is not primarily one of friendship. Friendship implies equality. Your children are not your equals. They are not your peers. When you are dealing with them, you don’t treat them as you would a friend. Your position to them is one of authority. You have the right to make the rules and set boundaries that your children are to respect.

Mommy and daddy, why do I have to do this? Answer: “Because we are the parents and you are the child. We are in charge. That’s the way the Creator designed it and wants it.” You don’t have to explain your reasons for making the rules and setting the boundaries. You don’t need to bargain with your children. You don’t need their permission or their approval.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord – particularly if they know the Lord and are connected to the Son of God, and the things they are telling you to do are right. But even if they are not in the Lord, obey them as long as they are telling you to do what is right. If they are demanding that you do something wrong, unethical or immoral, then you have a higher duty – to God, and you need to resist your parents in that area.

Children are to honor their parents – even if the parents are not perfect. No parent is perfect. All parents are imperfect and will make mistakes.

It is the duty of children to obey their parents. It’s right. But, it’s not always easy. Maybe to encourage the children to be obedient, Paul includes this promise: “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the Earth.” Honor your father and mother is a commandant that comes with a promise of blessing. The promise is a successful and long life.

Here’s how it works. The parents make good rules and set boundaries. The parents give their children good advice. The child who follows the rules, stays within the boundaries and acts on the good advice is a wise child and will be benefitted. He is safer. He is protected. He is led in directions that will advantage him.

Why wouldn’t a child want to be blessed like this, so that his life is successful? So, parents, hold out this “carrot.” Teach your children that if they want things to go well for them and enjoy a better and longer life, they should honor you, obey you and take your advice.

This is God’s will for the parent-child relationship. This is God’s design and it works. Children who obey and honor their parents will make fewer mistakes. They will be prevented from engaging in foolish behavior which will harm them. They will generally live longer and have a better and more successful life. When a child honors his parents he is honoring God, and God honors those who honor Him.

Now Paul addresses parents, specifically fathers: Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Parents, and especially fathers, must give their children training and instruction. They must be taught about the Lord – who God is, and what He is like, and what He expect from us and His way of salvation from Satan and the demons, sin and the sin nature, death and Hell. From their youngest days children must be taught the Word of God, and the difference between right and wrong, and the need for good morals and good character and a good conscience.

Parents must teach their children, train their children, set boundaries for their children, correct their children when they cross those boundaries, but they must be consistent in their requirements, reasonable in their demands, and not hypocritical in their own behavior. They are to correct their children, but not out of proportion, and not with too much harshness, otherwise the children will get frustrated, angry and rebel.

Parents are responsible for training and instructing their children – not the Shabbat school teachers. Parents must know the Lord themselves, and sound doctrine, and read the Bible with their children, and pray with them and get them involved in a good Community of salvation. Teaching your children about God, imparting the knowledge of the Word of God, and godly values and priorities, setting boundaries, engaging in consistent and reasonable discipline, combined with expressions of love, is the way to produce successful children.

Next is the relationship between slaves and masters. I think I remember reading that in the Roman empire, the percentage of slaves in the population may have been as high as 80%. While there are still slaves in some parts of the world today, and some of you might think that your relationship to your employer is that of slave and master, let’s think about this in today’s roles of employers and employees.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Messiah. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Messiah, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.

Even though slavery is a horrible thing, and even though Christian slaves and Christians masters were spiritual equals, the Lord’s divinely inspired representative did not tell Christian masters they had to free their Christian slaves. He did not tell slaves to rebel against their masters. Paul understood that it was God’s will for Christians and Messianic Jews to work within a fallen world system, which included the unjust institution of slavery.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear. Obedience and respect were to characterize the relationship of a slave to his master. Following the rules is to characterize the relationship of a Christian employee to the supervisor or the company he works for. He needs to show up on time. He needs to give his employer a full day’s work. He needs to work hard. He needs to be diligent. And he needs to treat his boss with respect and with a kind of fear, knowing the boss is in a position to make his life easier or harder.

And he needs to treat his boss with a kind of honesty and sincerity – just as he serves the Messiah. Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Messiah.

He doesn’t work hard only when the boss is watching, and then when the boss isn’t looking he lazes off. No, he consistently works with diligence whether the boss is looking or not. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you.

What motivates the Christian and Messianic Jewish employee to follow the rules; to work hard; to show his supervisor respect, to work in a sincere and honest way? Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Messiah, doing the will of God from your heart. It’s the understanding that work is part of our duty to God. This is what God wants from us. This is God’s will for us. By being a good employee, we are doing the will of God. We are serving the Lord. We are following the Messiah.

We are not motivated to work hard and obey the rules and show respect and work in an honest and sincere way to be noticed by the boss, or advance our careers. We are motivated by the knowledge that our jobs and our bosses are ordained by God. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people. We have our job and we have that boss because that’s where the Lord has placed us. That’s God’s plan for us. That’s God’s provision for us, to meet our needs and the needs of our family. Therefore we have a good attitude toward the boss and work, because we know that by working hard and showing respect, we are serving God, not people.

Most people complain about their jobs, their bosses, their companies, the owners of the company – but not us! We understand that work is ordained by God. Work is God’s will for us. God wants us to work and work hard. Work is part of God’s judgment on humanity that resulted from the Fall. Cursed is the ground because of you. In toil you will eat of it all the days of your life… by the sweat of your face you will eat bread. Work is part of our punishment – but it is also a blessing. It keeps us out of trouble. It provides for us and our families. Our work benefits others in our society. It can improve our abilities and our character.

Our jobs should be understood to be our ministries. Our work should be understood to be the same kind of service that the cohenim provided at the temple. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lordas priests at the Temple. That means that it’s not just the apostle, prophet, pastor, rabbi, teacher or evangelist who serves the Lord and is in “full-time ministry,” but the plumber, the carpenter, the computer programmer, the CPA, the lawyer – well, maybe not the lawyer – whose work serves the Lord. Our jobs, if they are honest and ethical, God-ordained, God-willed, God-honoring, God-serving, holy, sanctified. They are our full-time ministry.

When we are at work, we are like priests who served at the Temple. Therefore we work with a good attitude. We work hard. We work with diligence. We work with excellence. We work with honesty. We show respect. We don’t mouth off. We don’t complain. We don’t use foul language. We don’t use God’s name in vain, or mention Him lightly or unnecessarily.

Our place of employment is like the Temple, and we are like priests who served the Lord at the Temple. A priest brings men closer to God, and brings God closer to men. So, we view our jobs not only as God’s way to provide for our needs, but also as place to bring our co-workers and supervisors closer to God.

We pray for them. We do good things for them. We try to share the Good News about salvation with them.

And, the Lord wants us to know that He will reward the one who serves with this kind of attitude. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free. The Lord, who is the Judge of all the Earth, will weigh the opportunities, the talents, the level of diligence, the attitudes – and make His determinations for reward or punishment. The programmer with a great attitude may be rewarded more than the mediocre rabbi. God may bless the diligent, hard working secretary more than the lazy pastor. The young man who works hard at an entry-level position may receive a greater reward than the owner of the company who is selfish and negligent.

Now we come to the relationship of the employer to the employee: And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that He who is both their Master and yours is in Heaven, and there is no favoritism with Him. Bosses, owners, treat your employees with respect. Pay them a fair wage. Make sure working conditions are good. Don’t work them too hard. Don’t be mean. Don’t make unreasonable demands. Don’t take advantage of your position or power. You do this because this is right, and because God has put you in your position of authority, and He expects this from you, and will reward you if you treat your employees well and punish you if you fail to treat them well.

Owner, manager, supervisor, boss, keep in mind that you are accountable to the Chief Executive Officer of the Universe! You will report one day to the Boss of bosses. He is not partial. He doesn’t play favorites. He is not impressed by your high position and big salary. He is your Judge just as much as He is the Judge of those who work for you.

In fact, to whom much is given, much is required, and He will reward a good employee more than a bad boss – so, if you are smart, you will treat your employees well!

Wisdom for our most important relationships: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the Earth.”

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Messiah. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Messiah, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.

And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that He who is both their Master and yours is in Heaven, and there is no favoritism with Him.

May the Lord give us the grace to relate to our most important relationships the way He wants us to. Amen?